Posts

The practical man's workshop

My father was a man of great practicality.  And frugality. Extreme frugality. Some might say he was a “cheapskate,” but that is true only insofar as a man who mows hell’s own five acres of crabgrass and creeping vine and brittle blue shale with a ninety-nine-dollar Walmart pushmower may be considered a “cheapskate.”  Maybe having a half-horse pushmower was a luxury to men like my father. Maybe he considered riding mowers a little too snooty. As I think about my 52-inch zero-turn with its big Kawasaki engine, all I know is I’ll never know. Sometimes I take stock of my own manly riches and compare myself to my father. My mowers are parked in a sheltered row and plugged into trickle chargers. My tools are organized in a four-foot rolling workbench, ratchets and wrenches in one drawer, wood-working and other implements in another. Motor oils and fluids and consumables sit together on a shelf, and spare parts are in labeled boxes. Compared to how my father kept shop, it is pure ext...

Everybody has a Stormhouse

I think it's time to seek divine intervention for all the bad weather blowing through the South. I'm composing a little prayer. It goes like this: Heavenly Father, please stop tornadoing us. In Jesus' name, amen. Now that I've said it out loud, I think it might need a little work. Maybe change a word or two. Or just find a better man than me to pray it. It is the beginning of spring in the south. The first of our four tornado seasons has begun. You didn't know we had four tornado seasons, did you? They are: Spring Tornado Season Why Are There Tornadoes When It's 100 Degrees Outside Tornado Season We Can’t Even Have Damn Thanksgiving Tornado Season Christmas/New Year’s Tornado Season Last week, entire towns in Mississippi were razed. Pieces of people's lives blew up 30,000 feet in the air and fell back to earth somewhere eastward. Twenty-six people were killed. The biggest storm came through Amory and Smithville, small towns near the state line where naked co...